Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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