i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
