When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
