I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
