Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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