The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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