Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
