Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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