You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
