Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
