god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
