Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize