And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
