I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize