No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
