Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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