from now on my penis is your penis
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize