Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
