she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
