So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
whose parrot is this?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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