Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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