Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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