if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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