ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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