there's paper in my vomit.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
