his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
