I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
