I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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