it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize