So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
