MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
