He passed out mid-signature
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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