please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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