uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
