where am i from again
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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