i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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