does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize