im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
