no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize