also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
