I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Soap is not a condiment
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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