Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
