My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
