thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize