dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
