ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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