Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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