So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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