You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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