Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm having to shit out rocks
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