Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
