Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
