just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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