I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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