you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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