So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
