He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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