Got a toothbrush?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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