i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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