wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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