The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
