I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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