Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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