Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
