jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
