so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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