Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
