You made me cry and you don't even care
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
