did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
