Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
