Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize